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Separation and divorce does affect children, but how much they are affected varies greatly, both in the short and long term. Separation/ divorce can be a positive change if it frees children from the risk of harm. Even so, change is often a stressful experience. Most children are resilient and recover well after a period of adjustment.
Research has shown that, when there is little conflict between parents still living together, children generally do better if their parents stay together; whilst if there is a lot of conflict, or abuse, they may do better if their parents separate. However, every family is different, and you know best what is right for you and your children.
Unfortunately, even if the relationship between yourself and your partner while still together is fairly calm, the separation process itself can inflame hostility; and court involvement, because of its adversarial nature, can cause more conflict. Abuse can increase during separation, and in some cases continue afterwards.
Does separation and divorce harm children?
Parental separation itself may not damage children, but situations that arise from separation could.
The worst things for children are thought to be family conflict, financial hardship and numerous changes in family structure.
Separation and divorce can be a means to escape domestic abuse, if the mother receives appropriate support.
Creating two homes
By dividing assets, separation and divorce can put a severe strain on family finances. Creating two households also means that, to maintain a meaningful relationship with both parents – something the majority of children want and need - your children will need to split their lives between two homes. This is best achieved when both parents are able, and willing, to support each other in continuing their parental roles.