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High conflict relationships
High conflict within a relationship often, understandably, leads to separation breakdown.
Couples who are unable to resolve disagreements often turn to the family courts for help.
The term ‘high conflict’ is often used by court evaluators to describe parents referred to them. The implication is that the conflict is mutually caused. That is, both parents are at fault, and have equal ability to reduce the conflict by improving their communication styles..
Yet Cafcass, who are appointed to make recommendations for children in court disputes, estimate that domestic abuse is present in as many as 90% of couples referred to them.
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If high conflict is caused by abuse, it is not the shared fault of both parents: conflict is caused by the use of abusive tactics by one partner. When a woman challenges abuse, and tries to protect herself and her children, her partner typically increases the abuse, leading to continuing cycles of conflict.
High conflict can therefore be an indicator of domestic abuse.
Research confirms that domestic abuse is a common cause of relationship breakdown.
Therefore if you are separating, and there is or has been a lot of conflict in your relationship with your ex, you may be affected by domestic abuse.
Shared parenting is unlikely to succeed if there is a lot of conflict between the parents.
When there is high conflict, contact can be harmful (Pryor and Rogers 1998, Children and their Families, 2003) and ‘positively damaging to the child, either directly or through impairment of the parenting capacity of their primary care giver’ (A Buchanan and J Hunt, Children and their Families, 2003).
When there is high conflict and a Cafcass Reporter becomes involved, he/ she has a duty not just to describe what they see, but to attempt to understand why it is happening.
High conflict and domestic abuse
High conflict and child contact