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Registered address: Oxford Place Centre, Oxford Place, Leeds LS1 3AX
It is not always possible to plan ahead, but if you have time, preparation can help you better achieve the life you want after separation, and help you recover emotionally and financially.
Planning ahead
If your partner tries to prevent you from working outside the home, seeing financial information, or having your own bank account, this may be indicative of controlling behaviour. See Domestic violence.
If you are thinking about leaving an abusive relationship see also Staying safe.
Your children
If you do decide to separate or divorce, or are thrown into the situation, try to think early on about how you and the father of your children will continue to be involved in their up-bringing - assuming you both are at present, and there are no safety issues.
Time spent with your child(ren) may follow a different pattern once you are separated, and each family needs to find what is best for them.
If there are safety issues, for you or your children, see Domestic Violence.
Employment
Finances
If you are thinking about separating, it is important to consider improving your employability.
Statistics show that even a short break in employment can disadvantage you in the workplace.
The more you can be financially independent of your partner, whether or not you separate, the better you will be prepared if he:
is made redundant
dies prematurely
gets into debt
refuses to pay maintenance
becomes the primary care-giver
You may need to manage for months, or even years, without income from your ex partner or money released from joint equity. investigate what you could earn if you separate, and what state benefits you may be entitled to.
If you do not have one already, and can do so, open a current account in your sole name as soon as possible.
If you open an on line account, you will not receive any paperwork once the initial setting up is complete.
If you are not involved in managing your family finances, try to spend some time looking at relevant letters and bank statements, to gain an understanding of joint finances.
If you can, and it is safe to do so, keep a copy of all household income, expenditure, assets and debts.
Keep an eye on any large sums of cash taken out by your partner from sole or joint accounts.
Be aware of policies that may be in your partner’s sole name but which would actually benefit you (eg Life insurance, assurance policies, Mortgage style insurance).
Without knowledge of all family finances, you will be vulnerable in any financial dispute during separation or divorce.
If your partner prevents you taking these measures
For more information about preparing to separate, see our information leaflets, available soon.